We Statements:
Thankful For Each Other
One of the ground rules in a difficult conversation is the practice of using I-statements - speaking from our own experience, naming only what we can truly claim. It’s a reminder that each of us carries a distinct story, and no one can speak fully from the inside of someone else’s life. In conversations that require courage and care, I-statements help make room for every voice to be heard.
But is there still a place for we-statements?
At first, the idea can feel contradictory. “We” can sound like a shortcut that flattens our differences: We all think… We all agree… Those kinds of sentences can unintentionally silence someone who doesn’t see themselves in the group we are describing or leave them feeling that their experience somehow doesn’t “fit.”
And yet, not all we-statements are statements of presumed agreement. Some are statements of aspiration. They point not to what is but to what we hope to build. Think of the “we” in “We the people,” or “We hold these truths to be self-evident,” or even the simple blessing of “We are grateful to be gathered at this table.” These are not claims about uniformity; they’re invitations into belonging.
Used this way, a we-statement doesn’t impose. It welcomes. It names a shared purpose rather than a unanimous opinion. It signals a promise: that even when we disagree, perhaps especially when we disagree, we choose to stay in relationship. We commit to making room for each other. We refuse to let anyone fall into “them.”
In fact, a true we-statement can only emerge out of the open space created by genuine I-statements. When each person is honored in their individuality, when each “I” feels seen and respected, only then can we begin to speak meaningfully about “we.” What we share as a community is deepened and strengthened by the fullness of what is unique in each of us.
As we enter these days of Thanksgiving, a season so often centered around gathering, around tables, around remembering who we are to one another, we have the chance to recommit to both sides of this balance: honoring each individual's story, and nurturing the connections that hold us together.
May this Thanksgiving be a time to appreciate one another with tenderness, to speak with generosity, and to be inspired toward deeper, kinder, more meaningful connections between us.